"This Is As Far As I Can Go"
See My Body, See Me (again)
Two weeks ago I had the privilege of attending Pam Englebert’s book review session at the Society for Pentecostal Studies.
I’ve already written on here about her wonderful book, See My Body See Me (which I endorsed and blurbed), but I want to plug it again because I really do think it’s a wonderful, important, and timely work.
Pam’s supplied me with an excerpt from the book. Here it is:
Jade taught me how pentecostals listen to and wait on God. She spoke of a repeated mystical experience that transpired over an extended period during the Sunday evening worship service of her pentecostal church in which she saw herself as a little girl of approximately five years of age. In this repeated experience, Jesus approached the little girl and said, “I want to take you to meet my Father,” to which she responded, “Okay.” However, after they had taken three or four steps, the little girl announced, “Oh, I’ve changed my mind. I want to go play in the park,” to which he replied, “OK. Let’s go play in the park.” Over and over again, Jade envisioned the two of them going to the park and swinging in the swings together instead of going to theFather. After several months of this repeated scenario, on one particular Sunday evening, the little girl did notask to play in the park, but she accompanied Jesus to meet the Father. Jade believed this change in her response signaled her having experienced sufficient relational healing regarding fathers, affording her a readiness to encounter Jesus’s Father.
As Jesus and Jade continued walking along a pathway, they came to a doorway, and Jesus said, “This is as far as I can go. You can go in, and the Father is sitting in there on a chair.” When Jade went through the doorway, she entered into a brightly lit room in which she saw God the Father without clearly seeing the Father’s face. As she walked over to the Father, the Father picked her up and placed her on his lap. The Father then lifted her high above his head, moving her around a little while simultaneously tickling her so that the two of them laughed together. After the Father put the little girl down, they began to play hide-and-seek in which she peekedaround the Father’s chair and looked at the Father, generating laughter first from the Father and then from her.When she returned to the front of the chair, the Father picked her up and again placed her on his lap and said,“I’m your dad, you know.” The shock of this realization caused her to cry as this was quite exciting for the five-year-old-emotional part of her heart. Amidst her excitement, she went to the far corner of the room and pulled ona huge angel’s robe, saying, “He’s my dad, you know,” and the angel nodded. She then walked over to Jesus, pulled on Jesus’s garment, and said, “He’s my dad, you know,” and Jesus replied, “I’ve been trying to tell you that for along time.”
It was not until after she had repeatedly experienced this mystical encounter that she realized its significance. When she was almost six years of age, she learned that her stepfather was not her biological father. Her oldersister informed her that what Jade believed to be her surname was not actually hers. Her sister warned her: “If you’re bad, my dad is gonna send you to your dad, and your dad doesn’t want you.” Such news shattered Jade’s world as she no longer knew where she belonged. The five-year-old Jade realized in that moment: “Everyone else belongs in this family but me.” But God saw and heard and continued to be aware of her need for healingeven when she remained unaware as an adult. As she stood in a worship service, being open and listening during these divine-initiated encounters, Jade’s unknown needs for identity and belonging were being healed.
Finally, here’s a video where Pam talks about her work for herself:
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